My first memory is of being babysat. I’m three maybe four. I clearly remember sitting on the lap of a girl at a low-key late 70’s basement party. The party is being thrown by my cousin, my babysitter. I can still see her face.

 Dirty blond, a pink tube-top, tight jeans and too much eye makeup.  

 Talking with my wife about placing our three children in non-parental care for a night out, I’m struck by how things have changed. 

Do baby-sitters still exist?

Do people still trust a neighborhood teenager they hardly know to care for there children armed only with a list of phone numbers posted on the fridge and a threat of “wait till your parents get home”

I recently asked my mother about the babysitters in my childhood and as expected she proceeds to describe a few of the more memorable misadventures.

“Oh there was that one that you and your brothers tied up, she never came back”

“Oh remember that time that your regular babysitter, now what was her name, anyway, I guess she was sick so she sent her brother” “ Ya he was a bit off, I think he was mentally diminished or something like that.”

Now for the record my parents were not in anyway negligent this was simply acceptable parenting for the era. No seatbelts, bike helmets or life jackets combined with significantly more freedom to roam it’s amazing my brothers and I survived at all.

I often wonder if in protecting my children, not only from the physical dangers of the world but also from any and all hardship, I’m actually doing them a disservice.

When I think back on my childhood I can definitely recall a few incidents where I was lucky to escape unharmed but in those close calls I learnt resourcefulness, a sense of self, that has served me well. 

Without facing adversity how can one be expected to deal with the challenges of the “real world”?

I recently read a story that discussed the raising demand on student services in Canadian Universities. Apparently student today don’t quietly flunk out but instead seek support and sue Universities for wrongful dismissal.  

Are we over parenting?

Have North American parents created a generation of over praised, under achievers, with a sense of entitlement and no ability to solve there own problems?

Or maybe I’m just getting old……. 

Life is Too Short

The average Canadian male lives 79 years as reported by the World Health Organization (83 for females). That’s only 28,835 days, which means I only have 16,425 days left on this planet. If I was born in Afghanistan I would only have 2920 days of living left as statistically a male only lives to be 42.

Now I know this is not exactly a ground breaking idea, I know you have heard it all before; Carpe Diem “seize the day” and all that, you probably saw Dead Poets Society in ’89 and for a day or two were seized.

For me these ideas evoke feelings of guilt: Why can’t I seize the day every day? Why do I waste time?

If I have learned anything in 12,410 days of life it’s that Robin Williams is not a good measure of success at anything including “seizing the day”. The truth is Seizing the day requires resources and resources require sacrifices like jobs and jobs make you tired and tired people need to rest and sometimes resting involves watching TV or staying in your PJ’s all day or doing nothing even though the great big beautiful world is waiting and you know you only have 16,425 days left to experience it.

For me Carpe Diem is about seizing your own free will. It’s about realizing that you are in control of your life. Life really is too short to live under a regime of circumstances you feel are outside your own control. An abused wife who finally get the courage to leave her husband only to enter another abusive relationship.

Seizing your own free will takes courage. The older we get the more likely we are to accept our circumstances. Carpe Diem is about having the courage to exercise free will especially as we get older and set in our ways. Like moving half way across the country to live in a place you want to be rather then accepting the distance between you and your loved ones.

No decision can’t be undone; no circumstance can’t be changed or accepted.

As I see it if you find yourself unhappy with your circumstances you only have two choices: one is to collect your courage and make a change and two is to exhale and accept it because life really is too short to live outside your own free will.